Orgasm

There is something magic about sharing our stories. No sooner do we share a favorite anecdote than we get one in return. I recently reminded my son Chris of how he had once confused the terms obstinance and abstinence, he laughed and then began to tell a story about a childhood friend of his. He told me that if I tell the story I should tell you his friend was a nice boy, a really nice boy. I think he was a momma’s boy, Chris didn’t say so, but I’ll bet he was.

Anyway the story is that this young man worked very hard at sticking to his principles. One principle was that he shouldn’t swear. He was already in the seventh grade, and claimed he had never sworn. I didn’t ask whether he had ever kissed a girl, but I’ll bet he hadn’t done that either. They, my son, the nice boy, and their posse had just finished science class. The lesson had been on the biology of the unseen world. They were leaving class when the nice boy said, “isn’t it amazing, all those little orgasms just floating around.” It wasn’t a swear word, but it might as well have been. Momma’s boy was heartbroken. It was as if he had missed a day of school and spoiled his perfect attendance record.
A few days later I was recounting the entire story to an employee of mine. I told her of how Chris had confused obstinance with abstinence, and then how Chris had told me of his friend who was amazed by all the little orgasms. She immediately recounted how she had overheard a conversation between her two young sons, the older was explaining something to the younger. She told how she distinctly heard the younger one say orgasm. Was the older giving the younger a lesson about sex? “What are you talking about,” she said to the older. “Relax Mom” he said, “he means organism.”

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