And I Hate Billboards

I believe; I do; that corporate America is slowly but surely adopting the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition. The Ferengi, if you lack the requisite cultural knowledge, is a warp capable species of humanoids from the Alpha Quadrant. They may lack the ten commandments, but they have their Rules of Aquisition. Rule 97, “Enough is never enough,” and rule 239, “Never be afraid to mislabel a product.”

And I hate billboards. I hate the shape, a rectangle, like a football field, sometimes altered like the one I just passed, with a half moon atop and to the left side. It’s designed to accommodate the hair on the head of a woman, a shameless huckster.

The straight line of the rectangle is distorted, the head, or at least the hair on the head fills the half-moon poking from the top of the rectangle. It’s purpose to make the image of the woman more real, the woman holding or wearing, or pointing to the mislabeled product. A product that couldn’t possibly do all the things she claims for it.

I pine for the days of “just a little bit will do you.” At least it made a claim I could test. Now its more is better, a dose that is certain to kill if not the body then the spirit. And then, noticing the birds, I laugh. The birds that grace the top of her poking up head. She’s wearing a crown of starlings. I’ve already forgotten what she’s selling. I’m watching the starlings pooping on her head.

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