A Letter to the President

Dear Donald,

I woke up this morning refreshed. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, it was a beautiful day, and then I remembered you were still president.

I’m writing about the story you tell. The one where you say you could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot someone. I understand the need to repeat the stories of our lives. I have stories of my own that I’ve told many times to the chagrin of my family. I even tell strangers my stories. They’re touchstones that provide a warm glow inside.

The stories I tell again and again are mostly those that occurred years ago. A fishing trip where I allowed my wife’s record setting fish to escape, or the earlier one about how I learned to walk with a wonder bread wrapper, the yellow red and blue balloons buoyed my every step.

But this is about you, you have stories of your own. You repeat them to your family, to your friends, and to stadiums full of supporters. They seem to like your stories. I’ve heard second-hand versions of some of them. Your prowess as a young man playing baseball that put Willie, Mickey, and the Duke to shame. And the story of your accomplishments on the links where a mulligan or two or three set you apart as a winner. But, I have questions about the gun, and the violence in the middle of Fifth Avenue. What kind of gun would you use? Have you thought about that? Have your friends at the NRA given you one? Maybe your pops Fred left you one to use.

Would the person you shoot be male or female, young or old? Is it a question of black or white or perhaps plaids or solids? Maybe your story is just early morning musings, and you haven’t reached the detailed planning stages yet. Maybe it’s just a story that fills your heart with glee. What do you think?

I’ve noticed your recent interest in preserving history and the monuments that commemorate it. Would you like monuments to your accomplishments to help you to remember and celebrate your stories? Monuments to help you feel good about yourself? I can imagine the monuments, one with you holding a bat, a second with a golf club and the third of you standing over a body holding a smoking gun?

All monuments to you at your best?


Not a Supporter

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